All Dressed Up: But Nowhere to Post
I got all dressed up for our first snow this year.
White. Cold. Quiet. Beautiful.
It was intoxicating to look at.
For those who missed it, I've been off social media (plus every distracting app my phone entices me with) for about ten days now---and it feels, in a lot of ways, as if I've been off for months. Ten days is what I committed to, but this week I decided to commit a few days longer, until I can come up with a plan to reintroduce healthy social media habits in my life.
If you're wondering how the detox has been for me so far:
This whole past year I wondered this thought often:
Will I look back on my life and see a girl whose life has passed mainly zoned out on Netflix and Instagram? Will I live each day unhappy because my life isn't as decorated, successful, or meaningful as so and so's on Instagram? Are those the platforms I will let control my days and steal my joy for the rest of my twenties? Thirties?
I've been afraid for awhile now that I've wasted time, intentional conversations, moments I didn't spend time with the God I love and worship because I spent it scrolling through my Instagram, in a lot of ways, hoping to see how the world might worship me, my style, my pictures, my life, my business, etc. I've found I'm not being the best me when I'm giving myself an hour or two on social media every day.
I've fallen pretty hard for this version of me. Just Social Stacie. Not Social Media Stacie.
This version of me is finding time to worship God and not myself. This version isn't looking around constantly at what everyone else is doing, comparing my life to theirs, being frustrated with them for sharing their political beliefs and thinking I'm better than them for now sharing their stupid opinion, or having FOMO emotional crisis moments (for you oldies, FOMO is "fear of missing out"). The only thing that I've noticed? I have to be more intentional about keeping up with friends or keeping track of birthdays. That's not too hard.
I'm looking people in the eyes. I'm looking my husband in the eyes. I'm looking God in the eyes. I'm looking myself in the eyes.
I've also had to grieve that our culture is only moving more and more toward social media. I'm grieving who I was. How much I gave into it. How easily I felt I needed it. How many hours I lost or friendships I didn't keep up because I felt falsely connected to them through social media. Are my college friends in California really posting how life really is or just posting the good stuff? I won't really know unless I'm talking to them. Keeping up with them. Telling them I love them.
How has the detox affected my business?
I'm not sure yet. I'm sure my business works well with it, but I'm not sure how I will move forward with it all. I pretty much am my own brand. My business and my home, style, life all blend together.
It's been a breath of fresh air to not constantly be looking around at what everyone else is doing with their own personal brand/small business. It's been great not to have to fight with myself to not be distracted during work hours by Instagram, but to be completely aware that I've committed to not getting on it. It's much easier to say no when it's not even an option.
So that's my synopsis for now... I've been humbled, purged, and confronted by a lot of fears or conflict I've been avoiding for awhile. I'm in tune with me. I'm considering how I can love others, enter into hard conversations about politics or race or religion without these platforms. I'm thinking intentionally. My list could go on. I'll let you know what plan I end up making to keep these healthy habits.