Not feeling 5 steps ahead of the cool crowd lately? Unsure if you should be showing up to Oak Street or East Side? Is your ombre hair color starting to fade (more than usual)? Did your webdesigner roommate up and move to Portland and now you don't have anyone to pay rent or help you with your fashion blog? Is the Denton Mini Mall all out of vintage globes? Did you accidentally wash your hair after only two days?
It can be easy to feel a little crusty when it comes to maintaining your Denton hipster-ness, especially when it comes to choosing the right coffee shops to hipster at. I thought I'd put this coffeehouse guide together for anyone who's feeling a little behind lately, so when you go out with your friends you can feel at ease, knowing you're getting the right drink at the right place without looking like a completely average person.
Coffee Joints to hit up if you need a place to design the blog you hope will get famous and land you a publishing contract:
Banter: Especially if you show up midday, it's quiet and a good place for natural light inspiration. Every good writer needs some coffee followed up by some good booz for, uh, creativities sake, and Banter can offer you both. If you think some good tunes would further your writing, they also have live music consistently every Thursday-Saturday night. And if you hate music, I'd recommend you leave Denton immediately. What to Order: A regular latte with your choice of booz to wash it down. Or some crepes to wash it down. Whichever.
Coffe Joints to hit up if you LOVE college students or drunk people:
Big Mikes: Right by all the bars and not by TWU. Perfect. What to Order: Cool Keith or Ziggy Stardust. Both are magical even if Big Mikes doesn't look magical.
Coffee Joints to hit up if you enjoy your fashion sense and like others staring at you on a catwalk:
Jupiter House: If you've ever asked anyone how their first experience at Jupiter House was, 98% of everyone who's socially conscious will tell you they felt like an insecure Tyra Banks on the runway. The second you walk in you get stared at. Why? Because the bar is at the opposite end of the front doors, and you have to walk by every zombie novel writer, small business owner, and city council man to get there. BUT IT'S WORTH THE WALK, because JuHo does drinks and coffee house vibes well. They win for awesome customer service and authentically caring for the Denton Community well. And their bathroom doesn't have one of those tacky "For customers only" signs on it. What to Order: Caramel Nut Nebulla (if you like a lot of sugar in a lot of hot), the Oppenheimer (if you made a new years resolution to only drink awesome smoothies in 2014), and the drip (for early mornings, midterm papers, and rapid bowel movements).
Coffee Booshie joints to hit up if you truly only care about the coffee:
Bookish Coffee (every hipster knows this isn't a coffee shop), but if you really care about the "making of", you can do some solid bean-development if you stand in the window of Bookish watching the Roasters at work. But you can definitely buy Bookish coffee for funsies and yummies and every hipster knows you should, because that means you'd be supporting local roasters. Pick up a bag at the Cupboard.
Shift Coffee. Slow made coffee to make you fall for their cup of joe real fast.The wait is worth the wait. Wait, did I write that right? What to Order: A vanilla and rose Latte via Avoca Beans. Heavenly.
Coffee Joints to hit up if you need a girl to think you're a hipster:
The White House: That one place that used to be called Art Six but keeps changing owners every five seconds, so nobody knows what to call it, so everybody calls it Art Six still. This place has enough love seats and couches tucked away in random rooms and corners if you think she'll dig a first kiss paired with a cup-o-joe. What to Order: Butter Beer (if that's still an option) to please the Harry Potter fan in all of us.
Coffee Joints to hit up if you need a girl to think you're a Christian hipster:
Zera: This isn't a knock on Zera's at all. It's just that they play Christian music so you don't have to purchase any unwanted Amy Grant albums to show off to your lady later at your apartment. And when you over hear other people's conversations at Zera's, you might hear things like this, "I'm in five different bible studies but I really feel like God is stretching me to be in six". Their "cozy living room" meets "rustic comfort house" will make those college-kid homesick blues fade fast.What to Order: By far, The Mexican Hot Chocolate is where it's at. You don't need to order coffee every time you go to a coffee shop.
Coffee Joints that offer pretty awesome grub:
Seven Mile: The vegan cinnamon rolls will fool you every time. Honestly, any food at Seven Mile wins every time. And if you like mustard yellow walls paired with hard wood floors and World Market Furniture, you might never leave, and that might not be a bad idea.What to Order: THE Seven Mile Latte is perfect.
So go hit up some of these sick joints and try some stellar drinks. And remember, "It's not easy, being a Denton Hipster." -said no one ever.
[Apologies to anyone who was offended by my not including Starbucks Coffee, Loco, or Yogurt Fusion. I'm not a real hipster so there are some places I just can't write about.]