Confessing Desires, Hopes, and Dreams.
Have you ever been scared to share with others the things you most desire? Frightened to voice it to anyone out of fear you might be held responsible for that which you want most? I have so many desires, dreams, and hopes... but a few years ago, as I was sitting in bed reflecting on my day in low lamp light, I grieved that for too long I had held onto my desires just hoping they'd happen. Hoping can become a very desolate place very quickly. I grieved that I hadn't told my desires, dreams, and hopes to the very One who gives desire. The One who makes desire come to life. The One who gives life to desire.
I pride myself in being vulnerable, open, and ready to get to the gritty scrapes and healing wounds. And yet I felt most bare simply coming before my Life-giver, completely handing over my desires, dreams, and hopes. The very desires He had laid on my heart. It can be so hard to trust Him alone with some of the things we want to see come into fruition the most. But ever since the day I laid the flicker of the flame before Him, promising to walk in obedience no matter what, He has walked faithfully beside me, fanning into flame the very desires, dreams, and hopes He gave me.
Life is shifting. New desires, dreams, and hopes are planting themselves in the soil of my soul. I am a different person than I was even two weeks ago. And newness is upon Brett and I in this upcoming season. We are trading in hipster spiral staircases for long hallways. We are giving up quiet town homes for busy dorms and lobbies. We are surrendering our diet to cafeterias AND SO MUCH ICE CREAM. And we are about to become family to 400+ college students. We graduated from college just so we could move back onto a college campus and love on those crazies we just said toodle-ooo to. And we are stoked.
Here are some of my desires for this new season of our lives:
In Greek, Kaleo means "to call" or to "'to invite". My continuing desire in working with college students is to invite them into being important, purpose-filled, mercy-receivers, loved, and people who will move forward in life positively impacting others. To invite is to call in. To reach out a hand. It says, I won't run from you but I will pursue you. It's not turning away from them when they rebel, disappoint me, or make poor choices, but to move even closer to them out of love.
Kaleo Gratitude. This word combination probably doesn't make any sense to Greek scholars or average anyones, but these two words have been running through my mind ever since I started reading 1,000 Gifts a few weeks ago. What would it look like to invite gratitude into my life? I have found myself so easily giving into discontentment this season, and I'm done being flogged with taunts by that which I don't have. Starting today I am calling on gratitude to make its way into my home... .and I have invited it to stay. For so long it seems I have been trying to turn my face from the Lord, the giver of all. But I hear Him calling me. "Turn your face to me". Turn to me in gratitude. Receive hope from that which is already good that I have already give you in the day to day.
As we've been moving into our new home I've been reading the story of King Solomon. He built and dedicated an entire House to God. It was to be a House of God, where God and people could come fellowship together. Just as Solomon dedicated His temple, I have found such rich joy in dedicating our new home to God, in hopes that our home can be as life-giving as the temple was intended to be. Ultimately, my heart, Christ's home and temple, is dedicated to God every day... but the physical act of praying Solomon's words over my house has been wonderful and deeply real. What does it look like to invite someone of the greatest Love and Magnitude into my home? These are my prayers: