You can never have a perfect wedding.
I loved our wedding. I am still in awe that friends who love us traveled so far to celebrate with us. I loved watching my heroes, my brother and sister, waving and smiling love and encouragement at me as we drove away…just married. I loved dancing and seeing people move in ways I never thought they should. I loved seeing all the work my mom put into my wedding come to fruition, and finally being able to understand why intense preparation can be a good thing. I loved praying with my dearest bridesmaids and friends in my last moments of being my own person. I loved biting into our ridiculously huge gnome decorated cupcakes. I love that I had to pee the entire time. I love that Brett was the one I got to share it all with. I love that Jesus is the reason it was all so sweet.
A wedding day can be worked up to be such a stressful, fantastical, and unrealistic event. Weddings are not the pinnacles of our lives, ladies and gents. Rather, they are a transition into a different lifestyle. I look back on my wedding and I’m filled with joy and gladness because it was awesome and completely imperfect.
The week leading up to our wedding not everything I wanted done was done. And I simply had to be okay with things unfinished. I had cared for so long that our wedding would be considered WHAT-THE-WEDDING-AWESOME by our attendees, but the truth is, by that final wee,k I didn’t really care. I just wanted to be hitched and done. The word “elope” flashed across my mind so many times… it would have been so much easier. But the purpose in having our wedding in front of so many friends and family was to celebrate with them our love vows as well as communicate to them, that our love was a reflection of the very institution Brett and I base our lives on… the gospel.
My dad walked me down the aisle, tripping on my dress the whole way down because it was too long. Making jokes and smiling the whole way, the same way he tends to walk through life. I loved doing a choreographed waltz with him for our father of the bride dance… all, choreographed by him, mind you, not myself. I was nervous because he’s a much better dancer than I am. No one ever believes that he tried to teach me tap dances in the kitchen in high school… moves I never seemed to master. But I’ll never forget how good he was at a triple time step. I’m glad he was danced even though I don’t think it went perfectly… the excitement on his face is one of my favorite moments to think back on.
Never had I wanted to have an outdoor wedding. I’d watched every wedding show TLC had offered up to my hungry bride-brain, and I had seen too many episodes of rained out weddings to even think about celebrating out of doors. So naturally, I fell in love with our venue and didn’t even hesitate in planning an outdoor wedding. Who really thinks it’s going to rain on their wedding day? Why would it rain on MY wedding day? I can give you a very plain and dry answer to that one: because the weatherman said so… and this time he was right. It misted while we set up, and poured buckets as we arrived… And yet, anyone might tell you…it stopped raining exactly when the wedding was suppose to begin. And just as our friend Steve began our nups, the sunset burst forth from the overwhelming gray clouds behind us and both Brett and I smiled relief and awe at each other. Our love was vowed with those we love before us, and God’s magnificent grace behind us. I’ll never forget the colors surrounding us as we danced on a drowned out dance floor that so ironically reflected the beauty of the lights hanging above us and the fading sunset all around us.
For some, seeing the bride or groom before the wedding ruins everything. But honestly, I loved seeing Brett pre-glam, primped dress, and hipster suspenders. Not only was it nerve-calming and peace-giving, it was a solid reminder that we were not the king and queen of the day, but that we were just a boy and a girl coming together to become one--- It was a beautiful reminder of day to day life. You’re married to someone whether you look great or not. You are married to them whether you feel patient or not. You are married to them whether you’re in love with them or not. You’re married to them whether they’re loving you or not. You’re married to her whether she’s wearing the wedding dress or wearing a look of ferocious anger. You’re married to him whether he’s looking at you with the most loving and star-crossed eyes as you walk down the aisle or with eyes of disappointment and frustration. Symbolically I loved seeing that contrast in our wedding day.
And here we are living out the ups and downs of our wedding day every day. We will not strive for perfection. But for love unconditional.